Do Your Wedding Right the First Time

I often hear from couples getting married for the second time (or for those who are learning about Humanist Officiants for the first time) that they often feel (or felt) they had little power or control over their wedding – the plans, the ceremony, the day, the family politics. Instead of it being a truly enjoyable day, they feel stressed out and unhappy. Humanist weddings are truly about the couple. I believe that means working with the couple to come up with a ceremony that truly reflects their cherished values and style. While weddings are on hold while we deal with COVID-19, I suggest reading this light read, survey-like article where couples share their regrets about their weddings and wedding days — often it comes down to feeling helpless to ask for what they needed or wanted and failing to set boundaries or understand options. Reflect on the sacrifices or compromises you might be making (some are normal and that’s part of life), and perhaps take this time while we are all on pause, to consider which compromises you may come to regret later. As a Registered Psychotherapist, I work with couples and individuals on pre-marital counselling or marriage prep — this can be especially helpful in the leadup to a wedding. I aim to empower and help develop insights and new patterns of coping and communicating – not only with your partner but with others.

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